Letter to Hospital

Dear [redacted] Hospital

Two days ago I was in with severe lacerations to my abdomen. You made me wait in the waiting room for four hours, which would have been alright given that the people already in the waiting room didn't have cholera. I could feel the sickness working its way into my wounds.

As if that wasn't enough. The nurse was terrible at her job. I am not a mannequin. But she thought she was making a dress and not stitching up a taxpaying American citizen. She finally closed the wound and I looked down and there were only a few stitches in there. I said don't you think that's too few stitches? And she said nothing. I said don't treat me like an illegal immigrant, give me enough stitches so that my wound will heal. Hell if you're only going to put four stitches in there I might as well tape it with duct tape. So she put more in.

There's thirty seven in there now. This cut isn't opening up for a long time. But you see the point I'm trying to make here, Mr. Hospital Administrator? I am an American citizen being treated like I just jumped over the border. My name isn't Javier. My name is [redacted].

Respond with a settlement offer. Or I'll be taking this to the Supreme Court.

Signed,
[Redacted]